RUHIYA RAHIMOVA
Q: The title My Mother Is Among Us has sparked strong reactions. What does it actually mean?
A: The title is not a literal reference to one specific mother, nor is it an accusation directed at motherhood itself. Rather, it points to a psychological and social reality: people with narcissistic or controlling traits exist within everyday life. They are not confined to one role or gender. They can be mothers, fathers, siblings, spouses, or authority figures. The phrase “among us” emphasizes normalcy and proximity, not blame. It asks readers to recognize patterns, not target individuals.
Q: Does the novel suggest that mothers or women are inherently narcissistic or harmful?
A: Absolutely not. The novel is careful to avoid gender-based stereotyping. While the central figure is a mother, the behavior depicted is not presented as feminine, maternal, or biologically determined. Instead, it is portrayed as a learned psychological response shaped by environment, upbringing, and social conditioning. The story could be re-centered around any gender or role without changing its core message.
Q: How does the novel explain Yusriyya Alhazimi’s narcissism without excusing it?
A: The book distinguishes between understanding and justification. Yusriyya is not portrayed as evil, malicious, or intentionally destructive. Her controlling behaviour emerges from a life shaped by emotional repression, traditional expectations, and unexamined trauma. The novel contextualizes her actions within systems of upbringing and cultural oppression, while still acknowledging the harm those actions cause. Explanation is offered to deepen understanding not to absolve responsibility.
Q: Is the novel making a cultural or regional judgment?
A: No. While the story is influenced by Middle Eastern social structures, its psychological dynamics are universal. Emotional control, inherited trauma, and enmeshment appear across cultures, classes, and societies. The novel avoids reducing complex social realities into stereotypes. Instead, it uses a specific setting to explore global patterns of family psychology.
Q: Why focus on narcissism in a subtle, domestic form rather than extreme abuse?
A: Because subtle forms of emotional domination are often the most normalized and least discussed. The novel draws attention to behaviors that are frequently mistaken for care, sacrifice, or love. By avoiding extremes, the book opens space for readers to reflect without defensiveness or denial.
Q: What ethical position does the novel take toward parents shaped by oppressive traditions?
A: The novel adopts a dual ethical stance: compassion without romanticization. It recognizes that many parents were themselves raised under restrictive systems that limited emotional expression and autonomy. At the same time, it affirms that inherited pain does not justify perpetuating harm. The book encourages awareness, not condemnation.
Q: Is this book intended to provoke confrontation or healing?
A: The novel’s aim is clarity, not conflict. It does not urge readers to accuse or confront family members. Instead, it invites introspection understanding where emotional patterns come from and how they can be consciously interrupted. Healing, in this context, begins with recognition.
Q: What misconception do critics most often bring to this novel?
A: The assumption that identifying harmful behavior equals assigning moral blame. My Mother Is Among Us challenges this binary thinking. It suggests that people can be both shaped by harm and responsible for how they pass it on.
Q: How should readers approach this book to avoid misinterpretation?
A: As a psychological exploration rather than a moral indictment. Readers are encouraged to read with nuance, resisting the urge to label characters as villains or victims. The novel is less about judgment and more about understanding how emotional systems reproduce themselves across generations.
Q: In one sentence, what is the novel ultimately saying?
A: My Mother Is Among Us argues that emotionally controlling patterns are learned, socially reinforced, and widely shared and that recognizing them with clarity and compassion is the first step toward change.
Q: Why does the novel focus on subtle emotional control rather than explicit abuse?
A: Because subtle dynamics are often the most normalized and therefore the least examined. The novel draws attention to emotional harm that occurs without visible violence or intention. This allows readers to reflect without defensiveness and recognize patterns that are socially protected or misunderstood as love.
Q: Is the book meant to provoke confrontation within families?
A: No. The novel does not advocate accusation, exposure, or rupture. Its primary aim is awareness. By giving language to unnamed emotional experiences, it allows readers to understand themselves rather than blame others. Any response distance, dialogue, or reconciliation is left to the reader’s discretion.
Q: In one carefully framed sentence, what is the novel saying?
A: My Mother Is Among Us explores how emotionally controlling behaviours are learned, normalized, and transmitted across generations and how understanding their origins can interrupt their continuation without resorting to blame.
Voices in Ink 